Sunday, November 26, 2006

Family Weekend

We spent the weekend in Minnesota with Martine's Family. We had a great time! It is nice to have four days in a row off work! Martine's Grandma Conway was also in Minnesota, and on Thanksgiving day we also saw her Grandpa Daniel and many aunts, uncles and cousins.

We got new baby gifts! Andrea gave us a VERY SOFT green blanket and a caterpillar rattle. And Martine's mom gave us a story book. Thanks guys!! We also brought back the baby utensils that Martine used as a baby. (see the picture!)



In addition, Andrea took us to Baby on Grand, where they have baby products that are partiuclarly good for adoptive parents that desire to promote attachment with their baby. For example, they have strollers that allow the baby to face you and high chairs that minimize the distance between baby and table/parent. We did not buy anything big yet...we are not in any hurry:) However, I did buy a Twilight Turtle that projects constellations on a nursery ceiling. (click on name to see it)

In addition to baby stuff, we found ourselves shopping for a washing machine, because last week ours died (special thanks though to Tara and Dave who gave Nate that washing machine years ago, we got some good use out of it!). The new one gets here on Wednesday... we chose a front loading one (because they use a lot less water) that has a steamer feature to steam out wrinkles if necessary, and, of course, we made sure it had a child lock:) (click on the words "new one" above to see it)

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Pictures of Vietnam

I found a website with beautiful pictures of Vietnam! Click on the link to the right to see them.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Wait Game and the Rumor Mill

Our social worker has told us that if all goes well, and all documents are in, she can get our homestuday draft to us on the 20th! Then we reivew and the agency reviews and then it is sent to the department of homeland security to complete our application. The department then makes us a fingerprint appointment, reivews the prints and then sends us an approval. The approval goes into the dossier that then goes to be translated prior to going to Veitnam.

Once the docs are in Vietnam, we wait for a referral. We are on list serves for other people in the process, and there is always speculation on how long the wait will be. Our agency says 1-4 months before referal and then 1-4 months before travel (time frames subject to variability). However, on the list serves there seems to be a general impression that things are not that fast. Here is one recent post that talks about wait times. Keep in mind when reading it that we are not specifying a preference on gender of the child, so at least that may help the time frame. (Note also that G/R is Giving and Receiving Ceremony, which is the legal adoption ceremony in Vietnam)

This was taken off a public blog
FAITH INTERNATIONAL ADOPTIONS. The blog address is:
http://mfabhbe. blogspot. com

This information is in the public domain:

Dr Long and Mr. Dao visited Washington 10 days ago, the following is a part transcription of their meeting:

Dr. Long wanted to immediately point out that although there are 34 licensed American agencies in Vietnam , many of them have still not placed a child for adoption. The issue concerning the referral of children centers on the availability of children in each specific province. If each orphanage does not have children that are clearly orphans or healthy, the wait for a referral will get longer. That is what each agency has been experiencing. Please remember that the largest amount of adoption visas issued to American families within one year was just over 700 visas. In comparison, both Russia and China will exceed 7,000 adoption visas.

Dr. Long explained that according to Decree 68 and Decree 69, the laws concerning Domestic and Intercountry adoption, the adoption process should take approximately 4-6 months. That of course assumes that a child is immediately available for referral. However, in practice, the realistic adoption process in Vietnam is much different and this has caused a lot of frustration not only for each and every family and the adoption agencies but also for Dr. Long and Mr. Dao. They said that over 85% of the files reaching their desks are for infant girls and this has caused a massive delay in referrals for ALL agencies. Vietnam is unlike China in that there are more boys in the care of orphanages then there are girls. Even though a review of the Decrees concerning adoption in Vietnam establish that a referral should be seen within 6 months, it is sometimes impossible to do so with so many agencies, so many families, and so many countries all working in a limited number of orphanages and with provincial processing that is, at times, slow at best. They said practice will trump law for some time as the process is still in its early stages right now.

The DIA staff also suggested that every agency in Vietnam at this time is having very difficult times with the wait for referrals and on average most files that have been logged in have not received any matches yet. That is, of the 700+ files they have received from the US , only 200 or so have received matches. The majority of these have been for boys, special needs children or older children. Although they saw some provinces processing very quickly early on, this is not the case now and most provinces should be processing at a speed reminiscent of other programs.

Another point they raised was that each family should be aware that the lawful process of an Intercountry adoption in Vietnam will require at least 4 months of processing time in the province post referral before a Giving and Receiving date will be issued. In most cases the timeframe is anywhere from 4 months to 7 months post referral. There are some exceptions, one being where a particular child's dossier was prepared in anticipation of an adoption but for some reason the adoption did not take place. If another family that has a dossier in country accepts this particular child after the failed original adoption, the time line will be faster as the child's dossier has already been prepared and the required police investigations into the orphan status of the child has been completed. They asked that families not pay attention to internet posting by families or agencies that state they can get referrals and G/R dates faster than what is permitted by law. They specifically noted that some agencies are saying they can issue immediate referrals and have families travel within 2-3 months. They are very doubtful of this and are concerned about the legality of such adoptions. This feeling is shared by the US Embassy as well.

Concerning the calls they get from agencies and families alike "demanding referrals", they wanted to express that the country was not a "baby factory and children would find their way to their parents and parents must be patient". For the 328 orphanages in the country, only 80 are open to international adoption; of those only 30 see much interaction with international adoption and of those only 10 or so are strong orphanages. Although they expect to receive 800-900 dossiers from the US this calendar year, they also receive an equal number from European countries as well.

SOLUTIONS: On the bright side, the DIA is working very hard to open up more orphanages to international adoption, doing their best to concentrate more power over the process at their offices. They asked that families consider the placement of a boy instead of being insistent that they only receive a referral of a girl. They stressed over and over that although the process may be taking longer than they expected.

BECAUSE THE REFERRAL OF A CHILD IN VIETNAM IS DEPENDENT UPON THE AVAILABILITY OF CHILDREN WITHIN THE ORPHANAGES PERMITTED TO PLACE CHILDREN FOR INTERCOUNTRY ADOPTION, IT IS DIFFICULT TO STATE IN DEFINITE TERMS THE LENGTH OF TIME IT WILL TAKE TO RECEIVE A REFERRAL. THIS IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT WHEN THE FAMILY IS REQUESTING AN INFANT GIRL. CURRENTLY, IT IS REASONABLE TO EXPECT A REFERRAL OF AN INFANT BOY 6-8 MONTHS AFTER THE DOSSIER HAS BEEN LOGGED INTO THE DIA. AS FOR A GIRL THE TIMELINE IS LONGER AND CAN REASONABLY BE EXPECTED TO TAKE 8-12 MONTHS. THESE TIMELINES ARE ONLY REASONABLE ESTIMATES AS THEY CAN BE SHORTER OR LONGER DEPENDING ON THE AVAILABILITY OF CHILDREN AT ONE GIVEN TIME.

WE SINCERELY APPRECIATE EVERY FAMILY BEING PATIENT WHILE THEY WAIT FOR THEIR REFERRAL OR G/R DATE.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

2 Years!

It is our second year anniversary!! The cotton anniversary. We exchanged cotton sheets, cotton bath sheets and an Al Clad Sauce Pan (stuffed with cotton apron). We also celebrated at Bistro Montage last night. Thank you to all who sent cards and gifts! We cannot believe how time flies....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Our Education...

Well, we have finished most of the paperwork. I finished a book on attachment issues. Have read a couple of magazines that we ordered: Adoption Today and Adoptive Families...both of which had great articles...

We also need to start focusing on our education requirements (we had to commit to a certain amount of education). We have VHS tapes on transracial families, attachment disorders, and life books (but they are taped lectures of fuzzy video quality so we have not made it through them). The agency also gave us websites where we can go for additional training (like an interactive web course that you take multiple times...each time looking at adoption from the perspective of different demographics...like people of different generations etc.) So, I will have to go find those additional courses.

As we complete each stage in our process, we can go to our agency web site and fill out info on that stage. They then send a certificate for the child's life book. Education is one of the stages we must complete.

So, we keep on reading...:)

On a side note...We did take time off reading to go vote. And, we are thrilled with the results! We celebrated Nate's birthday (belated) and the election results last night with friends.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Permission to Shop...

Our social worker gave me permission to shop. In other words, she told us that we should start to think about acquiring baby stuff, so that by the time we travel we will have all the baby stuff (nursery etc.) and will not have to buy stuff at the last minute. This does make some sense since most of the adoption costs come at the end of the process, so that is when we will have the least cash on hand.
Therefore, I am cautiously starting to look for baby stuff. The books that I am reading about promoting attachment between the baby and parents recommend that you get baby carriers that strap to you (the slings or backpacks). This way the baby gets used to you, your smell, your voice etc. better. There are ton of types of carriers out there. I think that the ones at this website are really cute, because you can pick the fabric etc. Baby Hawk
Seriously, though, we are not going to dive right in and decorate the entire nursery before we even get documents to Vietnam, but it is fun to start looking:)

Also, note that in our timeline (at the right) we got Nate's passport back with the correct spelling! So, we are finishing up!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Approved!

Yesterday, on Halloween, Nate's 31st Birthday, we had our final home study visit, and we were told that we are approved and will be recommended as parents!
Now, we wait 2-3 weeks for our social worker to write our home study. Then, the home study goes to CIS and we wait to get fingerprinted and then to get our approval from the U.S. government. After that, the documents go to get authenticated and translated, and then, they are shipped to Vietnam! (Our social worker told us it would probably take 3-4 months to go through those steps, which would mean things should go to Vietnam in February....)